CARRIE ' S FOOTBALL DIARIES

I was watching one of my shitty reality shows “America’s Next Top Producer” and the challenge was to produce a two minute piece about the Los Angeles Avengers – an Arena Football team. One of the producers focused on the Offensive Line. When he asked the Offensive Line Coach what it took to be the best Offensive Lineman he replied: 1) Physical Toughness, 2) Mental  Discipline, 3) Intelligence, 4) Explosive Strength and 5) a Nasty Disposition.

Now, I ask you…. Do think “Carrie” when you hear those five things? I think not and here’s why….

1) Not as much as I should or want to be. (Have you seen those other girls? WOW!) 2) Well.. yeah… I’ll give you that one. That says “Carrie” 3) Again… IQ tests never lie. Hehehe 4) Well, we’re back to #1 and no… nothing ‘explosive’ about me and 5) Woah woah! Not me mister! I got rid of those anger issues through many hours in therapy. So keeping all of this in mind… these are very good reasons why I’m not the best football player on the Amazons.

The next two weeks I’m on running duty. Since I officially can’t hit anyone or anything for another two weeks, during practices I run during tackling drills. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. Actually, I think it’s great! This cardio workout is really going to help with the ‘explosive strength’ issue in order to come off the line a lot quicker. I’ve been studying (mental discipline and intelligence) pro ball and I KNOW I can get faster off the line, push ‘em back and be pretty decent. It’s the ‘nasty disposition’ I will forever have a problem with and in the end I think that’s a good thing for me and you’ll agree if you know anything about me.

Well, we’re 3 – 0 and I am looking forward to watching us go 4 – 0. But I KNOW that I’ll play in a game very soon. I can wait two more weeks…. I can. It’s not worth a compound fracture in my hand. The slight brake I have now, is quite enough. And I’m sure that you (all my friends) can wait longer to hear “I’m in the hospital… again.”

This Saturday's game vs. the So Cal Scorpions was a real eye opener. This is the game we were all looking forward to and the girls and the coach were a little on edge. Apparently, the Scorpions have beat the Amazons for three years running. Yesterday, that all changed. Final Score 15 – 13. That's right, a very tight game. A very good game and a very nerve racking game.

All the talk amongst the girls about the Scorpions I've taken with a grain of salt. Since they were rivals, of course they're going to talk shit. But the truth of the matter is… they were right. When I watch us play, we play a good game… a fair game. So far, the other teams we've played, can't say the same. They punch you in the stomach, they clip, they make illegal tackles and so on. The Scorpions love to talk shit and at one point Coach Dunkin told the Scorpions "Quick talkin' and play football. Just play a clean game of football." The girls were stunned and threw him all kinds of dirty looks but if those girls concentrated more on their game instead of their insults, they may have won. Granted I've only been out there for two games (one pre-season and one season) but we're a quiet bunch on the field (except one person). We concentrate on the game or we talk about the game and our strategy while on the field. And we kick ass. I'm sure if those other girls had as much discipline they would beat all over us but this is a nod to our coaches who always teach us good football techniques and fair football and that's why I'm convinced, we'll be at the championship game.

The Scorpions still screamed at us at the end of the game that the refs won us our game. Though I don't agree and they'll never convince me of such, in the end no matter how much they bitch about an 'unfair' game… in the end and on the road to the championship… it's the end score that counts. We're 3 – 0 and no one can dispute that.
 

As for me, I'm officially out for three weeks. No clear result whether or not my hand is broken (my films are going to a specialist) but they are convinced the tendons are … as I like to say… shredded. Ever since about six weeks ago when I initially hurt it in a tackle against our biggest girl, it's been in pain. It was doing really good last week but come Tuesday's practice, I made one hit and I was (silently) screaming in pain. I bit through the pain but on Wednesday I could no longer deny the possibility that it was broken. There is definite tendon damage and the doctor said, "Don't play football." But I politely looked at him and asked again, "When can I start hitting in football?" His sad response, "Three weeks." Much longer than I expected but it couldn't have come at a better time either.  I knew the coach wouldn't put me in on the Scorpion game and I have no idea about the Minn. Vixen game. So if I heal up now, I PRAY I'll play in the NM Burn and Vegas games. There was a rookie placed in their game yesterday which bummed me out because what a fucking game to play in! I so wanted to be a part of it. I was the water girl and took some decent photos (will post later) but I really wanted to be in the action. After all, that's why I'm here, to play. Arg.  Okay focus on the positive… we're 3 – 0 and when I play again we'll be 5 – 0. 

Yes, that's right, the Amazon's won again. It wasn't as easy as last weekend, but in the end, the win is all that matters.

I texted one of my coaches on Thursday about the possibility of having a 'rookie' training session. His reply was "We'll talk about it." Even though the practices are pretty open about asking questions, the rookies are still a little shy and don't want to look like a complete idiot in front of the veterans. Vain? Yes. Pride? Yes. But I am guilty of it and see it in others and have heard it as well. I'm hoping there is a one on one with the rookies in a more educational and physical way. I want us all to succeed and right now, after talking to a couple of the rookies, I think this is the best way to do it. I'll keep you posted.

I will be in the best shape of my life by the time this is over but I'm dying just to hit the gym again!

Bottom line, we won 36-0. The Showgirls are the first team we play at home... it should be good and I know I'll play. So I'm happy about that.

Well, I was blessed. Nothing was broken. I saw my regular doctor who gave the final diagnosis and said if the bump doesn't go down in 6 weeks, then I'll need to go get an x-ray.

This football thing is costing me a fortune in hospital/doctor bills! I've got great insurance but DAMN, it adds up!

Anyway - our first pre-season game is July 21st and shockingly enough, I'm starting. That's right! I'm a starting lineman. O-line. Now I just need to get real football cleats (I currently have soccer), lineman gloves, ankle and wrist guards.  All this and I'm currently on hiatus ... ek. I surely didn't put those expenses in the budget for my time off.

Knee is a bit soar this week. Not sure why. I went back to the gym to lift weights but it wasn't anything stressful on my knee... not that I felt anyway.

As for the knee, today was my final check up and all is good. I have two bulky as hell knee braces. Running in braces with steal bars in them is something I HAVE to get used to. It's added five extra pounds to each leg! Thighs of steal baby!

And DAMN does my right shoulder hurt!!! :)

I was able to see the entire MRI, which was kind of neat. He said overall, the knee looks really good and healthy. I have a slight sprain to the left side of the knee cap and Hoffa Disease. Yep, you heard right, Hoffa, as in Jimmy. Here's the definition:

"Among the causes of anterior knee pain, impingement of portions of the infrapatellar fat pad between the femoropatellar and femorotibial articular surfaces plays an important role. This disease, first described by Hoffa in 1904, has always been fairly obscure."

So far, no surgery is needed but if the pain becomes chronic then I go under the knife. But for now, it's being treated with a cortisone shot.  NOT my favorite thing in the world. First the doc 'froze' the skin area then inserted this insanely long/thick needle into my knee and injected the cortisone. If you've never had a cortisone shot, let me tell ya, you can literally feel the liquid pouring into you with a burning that is none to pleasant. You'd think in the modern age of medicine they could make every drug like an ice cream sundae.  

I go back on June 7th for a checkup and to be fitted with knee braces.  I can't practice/run for three days.

Eric's mentioned his dislike for me continuing to push it but I haven't done it to the point I did two weeks ago. I'm not a huge fan of pain. I know that I have to stop before it becomes that unbearable and I become incapacitated permantely.

Well, I turned down his kind offer of pain killers (I'm such a bad druggie!) and agreed to an MRI to see what the problem is. All of the x-rays were showing no signs of damage actually he said they were perfect. So his guess is a ripped, well, I don't know all the medical terminology and spellings so instead of making an ass of myself, I'll just say that his guess to what's wrong with me isn't the easiest things to fix.... i.e. surgery. Not my idea of a topic for my "What I did on my Summer Vacation" paper!  I'll get the final results next Tuesday and my appt for the MRI will be scheduled for later this week. Fingers crossed.

The rest of the training was not so stellar. I pushed it and tried to bite past the pain. Instead after running 300 yards at a really good clip, I walked to the sports medicine girl, JD, in tears. I tried SO hard not to cry but my knee was is so much pain I just couldn't hold it back any more and I knew if I pushed it any more, I'd be on the DL list for the entire season!  I want to play at least ONE game before I get hurt.  I felt horrible for not being able to participate as much as the others and when I tried I got a quick snap of the fingers from JD to stop. I ended up, voluntarily, doing pushups and sit-ups on the sidelines when they did anything I knew I couldn't do.  I guess the biggest shock was not getting reprimanded or looks from coaches for being injured only the third day in. But no, they were pretty supportive. I guess I expected a little more 'military boot camp' type training this week.

I have two more days to complete before I can continue training with the girls. Since I'm off to Hawaii in three hours, I have to work one on one with the coaches but I don't know when or where yet. Not really looking forward to that because they will be nit picking everything. In the end that's a good thing but I know THAT'LL be the 'military boot camp' training I was initially expecting. Those should be some good blogs. NOT!

I was more than ready to put in another two hours of hard training in today. I was a little sore from Day 1 and my right knee was hurting but nothing to fear, right? I bought a knee brace thinking that would elevate the pain. I mean, when you look at our team, the knee brace is almost a fashion statement and I was feeling a bit left out anyway. All went well with the jogging, stretching and then the jumping jacks... JUMPING JACKS!  THAT'S what did me in! Frickin' jumping jacks! The tears I had to hold back. I can hear Tom Hanks now.... "There's no crying in football!' (Baseball, whatever)  I pushed through it as much as I could but it didn't go unnoticed. One of the gentler coaches came over and checked me out. Apparently I have the wrong knee brace but I pushed through all the running but then again, the damned jumping jacks!  What's with coaches and jumping jacks?!  I ended up going to the teams sport's med girl, JD. Apparently my knee cap is displaced. Oh yeah, gotta love that a knee cap 1/4" off from where it should be can cause that much pain. Very frustrating. BUT the good news is, I iced it down tonight and the pain has subsided so I can climb stairs again. I'll be buying the right knee brace tomorrow before practice and hopefully I can push it like the rest of the girls.

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Not as long as I live have I ever had anything of a bicep to 'show off'. In fact, I’m been covering my arms for as long as I can remember because I hate my arms almost as much as Tyra hates her own arms! Today in passing a mirror, I was just messing around and flexed… I was surprised to find a defined muscle! At first I thought it was the lighting playing tricks on me but when I reached up with the other hand in order to feel the perfectly formed flab – I felt hard muscle!

Now I’ve been looking for a fun way to exercise and to lose weight for a long time. I never thought I would find such a serious sport to do it in (or expensive). Granted I haven’t lost any weight and my pants are not getting baggy on me… yet. Today was the first positive sign that I’ve seen which only encourages me to continue this very tough journey.

Well, after a horrid sinus infection (was laid out for a week and on penicillin) I’m back in full swing and working out. Not your typical football workout for sure but I’m doing everything I can to 1) keep my social life and 2) get into shape the fastest and best way I can.  Three times a week I’m now taking dancing lessons with my boyfriend, which includes Tango, Salsa, Rumba, Fox Trot, Swing and Waltz. Then six times a week I’m at 24 hour fitness running, lifting weights and taking their various classes including a Lift and Pilates.

Come May 12th the LA Amazons will be in their regular season training. i.e. Hell Week – It’s five days of five hours of training. It’s pretty hardcore and it’s not something I’m really looking forward too thus all the training now. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE running? Oh yeah and now I’m here doing it four times a week!  I’m trying to get up to six miles but right now I’ve only gotten up to 2.5. Got a damned blister on my heel. Tons of band aids in order to keep working out.

Last weekend I was fitted for pads. Being that we are a professional team and only being paid $1 per game, I had for fork out $410.00 for the whole get up. And I still need to buy the proper football spikes! Well, with the next two months being on hiatus, and concentrating on working out… It should all pay off… right? 

Okay... so I admit I'm a little crazy to be taking on the name of “Pro Athlete”.  After all, I haven’t been on a team sport since 8th grade and it sure as hell wasn’t football. In high school I did make the Powder Puff football team (lottery chosen) my junior year of high school.  I was the left (touch) tackle and loved every minute of it.

Now here I am at the age of 32 and in no way can I call myself “in shape” and I still wonder how I got on the team. My only answer would be – heart. I have a lot of heart. I want to succeed. I want to prove to all my nervous friends that this is something I can do and not get mangled. Hell, the insurance policy I have is amazing and I should use it, right? Just kidding of course.

I’ve been working on and off with a personal trainer the last two months but it’s nothing compared to the three-hour work-outs I have with Coach Dunkin. I know that if I’m not in shape by the first game, it’s no one’s fault but my own. I love being this active, I don’t like working out but the game play is what’s got me hooked. I think my boyfriend would be happier if it were a nice game of water polo or the coach potatoes Olympics but the reaction I received when I first announced my acceptance on the team only showed me that I have a lot to prove to my closest and dearest friends.  I’m not fragile. I can be tough. And I have a lot of heart. I will be the 5’4” Amazon I know I can be!